The Kitchen Sink: Global Warming

“Obese People Cause Global Warming”

This is an old post, but I wanted to include it here.

I heard on Leno last night that some scientists have now decided that obese people contribute to Global Warming. Seems they breathe out more CO2. Oh for gosh sakes GIVE IT A REST ALREADY!!!

If that’s true, then my theory is just as good. More likely even better!

A few years ago I wrote about Global Warming. I’m not sure I believe everything Al Gore says. I do think weather is changing. And perhaps not for the best. But I have my own ideas about why we are seeing ice caps melt, El Ninos ramping up, and bigger hurricanes swirling. It all has to do with hot air!

Here’s my theory: Women who have hot flashes are the TRUE cause of global warming. We always get blamed for everything anyway, so why not add this one. Just think of all the heat we generate in one hot flash!

And think of all the energy created. So, I have a solution to the energy crisis, too. If all the women over fifty in the world are having hot flashes, there must be a way to corral all that heat! After all, we all know that a hot flash can bring your own personal summer in the midst of a twenty below winter day. I’ve seen women open windows in the middle of winter temps in the teens to ‘cool off the house’. And then there are those females of a certain age who drive down the freeway on a frigid winter’s day with the car windows down. Every woman of the age understands.

So why not capture that heat and put it to use? In the 60’s Gloria Steinhem brought us the women’s liberation movement. Now in the 21st century we should be able to take it a step further. We could start the rise of Hot Flash Energy. HFE for every household…And it’s free!

Just think what we could do. We would have cars that are propelled by Feminine Power. Wouldn’t that be great? Or perhaps heat our own homes with feminine power. It would only seem reasonable if several women were gathered for a game of bunco once a week, we could harness that power to heat that home for the month. What a deal!

Now I haven’t quite figured out all the details. I’ll leave that to the great scientists. And I haven’t figured out what we could do for air conditioning in the summer. Someone else would have to come up with that one, too.

But for once, I wish the scientists (and others) would listen to women. We shouldn’t have to take the ‘fall’ for everything. Just give us a chance, right?? Do you have solutions, ladies??

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